Ever the Same, Chapter 4

Clark/Chloe
Season 5, following my story "Never Let Me Go"
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to the CW and DC Comics, not to me.

The present

"I just can't believe he's dead."

Chloe sat in her dorm room, staring blankly at the gaping hole in the wall. Her cousin Lois sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulders.

"I know it's hard to believe," she said gently. "But he's dead, Chlo. The coroner said so. He might have been tough, but he wasn't indestructible."

"I just thought..." She drew in a shuddering breath. "I thought he'd live forever, Lo. I thought he'd outlive me by years. Centuries, maybe. I never thought I'd have to cope..." Her lower lip quivered. "With losing him."

"I'm sorry," Lois said, hugging her. "I really am."

Chloe closed her eyes, trying to get rid of the terrible images of Clark's death, but they were burned onto her soul for all eternity. She remembered the way Clark had sprawled lifelessly on the grass, a terrible hole scorched through his chest, his eyes wide in an expression of shock and disbelief. There was blood on the grass, a great deal of blood. His blood.

Despite the pain in her head, she'd struggled to her knees and crawled to him. She'd clutched his hand and whispered, "Come on, Clark, I can't lose you." And then she'd waited expectantly for him to regenerate, for the hole to just disappear the way his injuries always did.

But it hadn't. He hadn't moved, hadn't even breathed, and eventually she'd had to admit to herself that he was truly dead. Apparently his body couldn't regenerate from injuries caused by Kryptonian crystals.

She hadn't been terribly surprised to discover that Fine was gone. She wanted to believe he'd died in the huge explosion, but if it hadn't killed her, it certainly hadn't done much damage to the robot. Most likely he'd just left. He had no particular quarrel with her, after all-- he'd simply been trying to use her to get at Clark. And now that Clark was dead, there was no reason for him to hang around.

She hoped that now that Clark was dead, at least Zod could never be released from his prison. She wanted to believe that somehow, some good had come of Clark's death.

But even the hope that Clark's death had somehow saved the world didn't do much to comfort her. The image of Clark's body on the grass kept flashing in front of her eyes. As long as she lived, she would never forget the sight of her bondmate lying dead on the ground, his blood smeared on the grass.

A terrible emptiness rose up and filled her. Her throat tightened, and her eyes burned with unshed tears.

She bowed her head, Lois' arm still around her shoulders, and cried.

*****

The future

After all this time, Clark still couldn't believe she was dead.

He'd lived twenty years without Chloe, and it hadn't become any easier to make it through a day without her. Apparently Kryptonian lifebonding was truly for life, because in all that time he hadn't been able to even think of making love to another woman. Hell, he hadn't even tried to date, despite some efforts on the part of a photographer he knew named Jimmy Olsen, who was continually trying to set him up with various women. He was aware that the women at the Daily Planet called him The Monk behind his back, but he didn't much care.

There were days when he ached with loneliness, when he craved intimacy so badly it hurt. Not necessarily physical intimacy, just the intimacy of holding a woman and talking to her about the things that mattered to both of them. But he couldn't get past his Kryptonian biology. He'd bonded with Chloe, and she was still the only woman for him, even though she'd died twenty years before.

After a long day at the office, Clark walked into his dark, empty Metropolis apartment and sank down on the couch, dropping his head into his hands. He spent his days amidst the bustle and noise of the Daily Planet, but he spent his evenings in silence and solitude. He had no real friends, no social life, no real concern for anyone else on the planet.

There had been a time when he'd dreamed of using his powers to save as many people as possible, but those dreams had ended when Chloe died. He was bitterly aware that he'd failed to save her, and that it was his Kryptonian heritage that had killed her. On the day she'd died, he realized he didn't want a damn thing to do with his powers, and he no longer used them, not even to heat his food. He lived the life of a normal, ordinary human.

A normal, ordinary human who was very, very lonely.

Read Chapter 5 here.