Sunday, January 13, 2008

Two Friends, One Sundae

Clark/Chloe futurefic
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to the CW and DC Comics, not to me.
Screencap from SVFan.

"Let's see, here are the canned beans..."

"Oh, look, Chlo. Marshmallows."

"Focus, farmboy. For chili, we need kidney and great Northern beans, plus some canned tomatoes..."

"Hey. Cool. Chocolate chips."

"Excuse me. Bring that cart back to this side of the aisle, right now."

"But there's fudge over here..."

"See, this is why I never bring you to the store, Clark. You'd live off junk food if I let you."

"I can eat anything I want and stay healthy. If you could eat anything you want, would you choose kidney beans or hot fudge sundaes?"

"Good point. Still, what about me? If I try to live off hot fudge sundaes, I'll turn into a giant rolling beach ball."

"Oh, please. You're too skinny already. You keep trying to survive on nothing except coffee."

"And there's no better source of energy, believe me. If only coffee had calories..."

"But it doesn't. That's what I'm saying. You could really use something high calorie. Like this marshmallow fluff you can put into sundaes..."

"Stop waving that jar at me. I'm trying to shop for real food, darn it."

"Oooh, hey, awesome. Maraschino cherries."

"No. No sundaes, Clark. None whatsoever. Let me say this slowly and carefully, so you can understand it. No sundaes for dinner. We... are... making... chili."

"Right. Chili. Hey, what about if we put some chocolate sauce in it?"

"Clark Kent. Stop it. This minute. Get over here, and away from all the sundae makings, before I have to kick your ass."

"You're scaring me, Chloe. I'm shaking in my workboots, really. What do you think is better on sundaes, slivered almonds or crushed peanuts?"

"If I were you, I wouldn't be talking about crushed nuts right now."

"Um. Okay. Fine. I'm now officially scared. I'll just be coming over to look at that nutritious and delicious assortment of beans now."

"Smart man."

"Beans! Yummy!"

"Sarcasm is not necessary."

"Oh, yeah, like you've never resorted to sarcasm in your lifetime. Shopping is boring, Chlo. I can't help it if I'm drawn to the good stuff. It's like, you know, window shopping."

"So is that what you do when you get bored with me? Window shop?"

"Don't be silly, Chlo. I never get bored with you."

"Never? Ever?"

"Of course not. You're a lot more interesting than a can of beans."

"Thanks. I think. So even after eight years of marriage, you're telling me you never check out any other product in the supermarket? At all?"

"Uh... fifth amendment."

"Ah-ha. So you have been checking out other women's assets. You bad boy."

"Look, I'm only human."

"Except not."

"Still. Are you telling me you never look at anyone else? At all?"

"Well..."

"Thank God for that Bill of Rights, huh?"

"Okay. Fine. Nobody's perfect. And I guess looking around a little bit isn't the worst thing a married person could do. Anyway, the FedEx guy has the most amazing ass."

"Yeah, I've definitely noticed that."

"Excuse me?"

"Joking, Chlo. But the new editor on the fifth floor... well, she's got some impressive credentials."

"And by credentials you mean..."

"Boobs, yeah."

"Jerk. Sexist pig."

"What's with the double standards? It's okay for you to check out the FedEx guy, but not for me to notice the new editor's cleavage?"

"Um. You have a point. Beside the one on the top of your head, I mean. I guess it's okay for you to look, as long as you don't, you know..."

"Right. No peeking. Come on, Chlo, you know I'd never do that."

"Yeah. I do know that."

"Now your cleavage... that's a whole different story."

"Hey. Could we get the grocery shopping done before you start undressing me with your eyes?"

"Well, we could. But I don't really see the point. I'm bored, and checking out the scenery helps me stay focused. And you provide some very nice scenery, Mrs. Kent."

"Except you're not focused. Don't think I didn't notice you over there drooling on the marshmallows again."

"I wasn't drooling. I was staring at them longingly. It was sort of a subtle hint."

"Okay, farmboy, okay. If you're that desperate for a sundae, then drop the marshmallows in the cart."

"Cool. How about some hot fudge?"

"Well... maybe a little."

"Now you're talking. Here's a little."

"A little? That jar is big enough to hold Kandor. Get the smaller one."

"Meanie."

"Awww. Poor starving baby."

"What else? Cherries? Marshmallows? Shredded coconut?"

"Sure, get it all. And don't forget the chocolate chips. If we must make my thighs grow to the size of Texas, we might as well do it right."

"See, this is why I love you. You cater to me."

"Yeah, and I should totally not do that. You're getting spoiled."

"I'm a growing boy, Chlo. Hot fudge sundaes help me keep my strength up. Anyway, I like being spoiled."

"And I like spoiling you. That's the problem."

"If you really want to spoil me, we could have this sundae in bed when we get home. You know... hot fudge. Whipped cream. Cherries. All that good stuff."

"Clark Kent. You pervert."

"There is nothing perverted about hot fudge. Hot fudge makes everything better. Even sex."

"That's true. But the last time we did that, the sheets were a mess."

"I'm cool with that."

"Of course you're cool with it. It's my week to do laundry. I notice we only do stuff like this when it's my turn to do the laundry."

"Come on, Chlo. Live a little. Are you going to let a little thing like laundry get between you and a night of eating hot fudge off my--"

"We're in public, Clark."

"Oh. Yeah, so we are. Come on, Chlo. Cater to me."

"Well... okay. I can never say no to those eyes. Damn it."

"Attagirl. Put the beans back on the shelf, and let's move it. All of a sudden I'm really... hungry."

"Me too. Hey, don't forget the ice cream... ah, here we go. Chocolate, or vanilla?"

"Both. You can't have too much ice cream."

"Tell that to my thighs."

"Your thighs are gorgeous. Come on, Chlo. Hurry it up. There's an empty checkout line."

"Okay. Oh... shoot. We forgot the crushed nuts."

"That's okay. Somehow the idea of crushed nuts doesn't turn me on."

"Do you really need to be turned on?"

"Where you're concerned, Chloe, I'm always turned on."

"Good answer. Come on, let's get going. I'm going to make you forget all about the new editor and her credentials."

"Forgotten already. And I'm going to make you forget all about the FedEx guy and his great ass."

"I don't know, Clark. You're going to have to work really hard to make me forget that."

"For you, Chlo, I'm willing to put forth the effort."

"Awww. That's very selfless of you, Clark."

"Yeah, I'm totally a selfless guy. Come on. Jump in the car and let's go home before the ice cream melts."

"It's going to melt later anyway. And then you can just lick it right off my..."

"Excuse me. I am trying to drive."

"Drive faster."

"Yeah. I think I'll do that."

"Awesome. I'm totally starved."

"Me too, Mrs. Kent. Me too."

-The End-

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

heh nice :D

I love the Two Friends stories!! so funny!!

and very original idea with this one.. Chlark shopping lol. definatly havn't read that before :D

I'd love to see how they make this sundae :P

Elly said...

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! Yeah, I think there's definitely a possibility for a sequel here:-).

angelbsb said...

love this serires elly . keep it up .i made me feel better since i have been sick .

Anonymous said...

I love these, and this one was hillarious! I love the idea of them two shopping together...great job!

circulartime said...

Awwww, Elly! That was really sweet!!!!

Anonymous said...

out of all of the great stories you write the two friends are the best please write more of them!

blackheart_me said...

LOL. I recall reading this, I think it was over at kryptonsite. However it still makes me giggle. I love how "little" Clark sounds here talking Chloe into getting junk food. It makes me want ice cream :P lol. I love me some ice cream XD. Awesome Elly. As Always :)