The Big Boob Theory

Clark/Chloe
Preseries (eighth grade)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: These characters belong to the CW and DC Comics, not to me.

When Chloe Sullivan walked into Smallville Middle School that Monday, guys stared.

She didn't mind. That was kind of the idea, after all... to make guys stare. But if she was going to be honest about it, there was only one guy she really wanted to stare at her.

With that guy in mind, she marched down the long hall. And there he stood, at his locker, yanking out books and papers. His dark hair, shaggy and overgrown as always, fell into his green eyes, and he wore an old flannel shirt that was a little too short in the arms, and jeans that looked like they were about to pop holes at the knees.

He definitely wasn't Prince Charming, but she didn't care. She liked him, shaggy hair and all.

"Hi, Clark," she said, stopping next to him and thrusting out her chest.

He looked up, blinked at her... and burst into a sudden explosion of laughter.

A bit put out by his reaction, Chloe crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "What's so funny?"

"Are you... are you kidding me?" He sounded like he was trying to choke back laughter, but not succeeding too well. If he hadn't been her best friend, she would have kicked him in the shin, really hard. "Chloe, you look like you're wearing a pair of bowling balls on your chest."

She flushed a little, realizing her bra stuffing might have been a little less than subtle. "So maybe I'm growing up," she retorted.

He made a visible effort to sober himself. "You are," he said. "But not quite--" A strangled snicker. "That fast."

She sighed, irritated by his reaction. Her cousin Lois-- a year older, and a whole lot more developed-- had come to visit this weekend, and the way the boys in her neighborhood had reacted to Lois had given her the idea. They'd practically drooled. So if guys liked boobs, she'd theorized, then maybe Clark would look at her if she had bigger and better boobs.

She'd wanted him to stare at her with that odd, hot gleam she'd seen in the boys' eyes when they'd looked at Lois.

She hadn't expected him to start laughing like a hyena.

"I'm just tired of having people look at me like I'm a little girl," she said sulkily. Mentally, she added, I'm tired of having you look at me that way.

"You're not a little girl," he answered. His laughter had died down, but he was still grinning. "Since I met you, you've gotten all..." He made an hourglass shape with his hands, blushing a little. "And you're almost as tall as I am now. If anyone here's a late bloomer, it's me."

"I bet you'll be taller than me soon. A lot taller."

"Maybe," he said, sounding glum. "Or maybe I'm just doomed to be a shrimp for the rest of my life."

She looked up at him, and the truth she'd been struggling to keep quiet suddenly burst from its bonds and popped out of her mouth. "Clark," she said, "I think you're cute even if you're short."

His mouth fell open, and he gaped at her for a long moment. At last he managed to close his mouth. "Uh," he answered. "Thanks. And I, uh, think you're cute too. Even if you don't have, uh..."

"Boobs the size of watermelons?"

"Yeah." He blushed red, then blurted out, "I kind of like the real ones, actually."

"Oh." Startled by his awkward confession, she blushed too. "Thanks."

He kept staring at her. And not at her huge fake boobs. Just at her. He stared right into her eyes for an endless moment, and she stared back.

And then he bent to kiss her.

So maybe boys weren't all that attracted to big boobs, she thought hazily as his lips brushed over hers. Or maybe Clark was just an unusual guy. But at least her fake boobs had caught his attention, in a manner of speaking. Even if he'd laughed at them instead of lusting over them... they'd helped get him to notice she was a girl.

And now Clark Kent was kissing her, right in the middle of the school hallway.

She heard the predictable chorus of oooooohs go up around them, but didn't pay them any attention. She'd waited months for this moment, and she wasn't going to let anyone ruin it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. And it was heaven.

Clark Kent was short and skinny, with scruffy hair and old tattered clothes. He wasn't the best-looking guy in the school by a long shot, but that didn't matter, because she liked him. Not just liked him, but liked him.

And judging from the length of the kiss, Clark seemed to like her back, even if she didn't have boobs like cantaloupes.

At last he broke away from her and stood there, staring into her face, looking dazzled. She felt like she was floating above the clouds, and struggled to get her mind back on earth before they both got in trouble.

"The bell's about to ring," she pointed out.

"Oh." He blinked, as if coming out of a dream. "Yeah. I guess it is. We better go to math class."

"I'll be right there," she answered. "But first..." She grinned ruefully. "I think I better get rid of the boobs."

He nodded solemnly. "That's good, Chlo. Because I like you better the other way."

She felt like she was walking on air as she turned and walked away. So what if her boobs weren't that big? So what if she didn't have every guy in Smallville staring and whistling at her, the way Lois had? She didn't care if a thousand guys overlooked her, as long as Clark looked at her that way.

She looked back over her shoulder and saw him still standing there, staring at her.

And when she walked into math class a few minutes later, her boobs no longer resembling bowling balls, he was still staring, like he was seeing her for the very first time. He offered her a hesitant smile, and she smiled back.

And then she sat down next to him, and tried to focus on math. But she saw him shooting shy glances at her all the way through the class. And after the bell rang and they were heading for Earth Science, he stole another kiss in the hall.

So much for the big boob theory, she thought, smiling against his mouth.

Clark Kent liked her just the way she was.

-The End-