Earth Girls Are Easy, Chapter 1

Clark/Chloe
Season 3
Rating: Adult. If you're under eighteen, please go elsewhere now.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to the CW and DC Comics, not to me.
Inspired very loosely by my story Kryptonian Boys Are Easy.
Manip by Khyla. Used with permission of the artist.

Birthdays suck.

I mean, they really, really suck.

We're not talking minor sucking here. We're talking full-blown, hardcore, total suckage.

It's bad enough that Dad totally forgot. I know that for him, "forgetting" means oh, sorry, honey, I had a date tonight. Dad's having a midlife crisis, I guess you'd call it, and right now some thirty-year-old hottie with plastic boobs means more to him than I do. That's not really a surprise.

But what really surprises me, and bugs me, is Clark. Where the hell is Clark?

I mean, yeah, he's mopey as hell, and he spends all his spare time thinking about some wildly hypothetical future with Lana even though they aren't even talking to each other right now, but still... it's not like him to totally forget about me, his best friend.

But today in school he didn't seem to notice the date, and he hasn't shown up to escort me to the Talon, or bring me a cupcake, or any of the lame and totally adorable sort of things he usually does for my birthday.

So... yeah. Birthdays totally suck.

Especially this one.

*****

Holy shit, look at the time. Chloe's gonna kill me.

No, not really. She'll be so glad to see me she'll let me live. Well, probably. Especially since that was Mr. Sullivan who just tooled by with some bimbo. Hey, jerk, it's your daughter's birthday, you know! Why the hell are you going out on a date when it's Chlo you should be taking out?

Gah. Parents. I'm glad mine aren't total assholes. Mr. Sullivan used to be okay, but lately...!

Oh, well. At least Chloe has me. And aren't I an awesome friend, showing up at seven-thirty? Poor Chlo, she probably figures I've totally forgotten about her.

And that was what I wanted her to think. But I didn't mean for it to get quite this late. I just got busy with... homework.

Oh, fine. I was thinking about Lana. But I'll never admit that to Chloe. As far as she's concerned, I've been doing calculus all evening.

Anyway, I wish I had something really awesome to give her. She deserves it, what with the way her jerk dad's been acting lately. Plus, she's my best friend in the whole world, and she deserves better than this lame book. I should have baked her a cake or something.

There's gotta be something better I can give her.

Better think fast, Kent. You'll be at her house in three point five seconds.

What could Chloe possibly want from me?

*****

"Hi, Clark."

Clark looks scruffier than usual, like he ran the whole way over to my house. I look around, and don't see his truck parked on the road or in the driveway. I'm not really surprised. It's too far for any normal person to walk, but Clark has this way of just materializing out of thin air. Almost literally. I guess his parents must have dropped him off, but that doesn't explain the way his hair's all windblown.

But I know he doesn't want me wondering about how he gets around so fast, so I'm not going to. Much. I step aside and let him come in. I notice with approval that he's holding a gift. At least he remembered my birthday.

This is why he continues to maintain his best friend status. He's slow, but he gets there.

He offers the package to me. It looks sloppily wrapped, and I'm oddly touched by that, because it means he wrapped it himself, instead of having Mrs. Kent do it for him. I take it from his hands and look it over.

"It's not much," he says, looking adorably awkward. Only Clark can make awkward look so damn cute. "Just, you know, a little something."

I know he's being perfectly honest, and it's not much, because the Kents are organic farmers, which does not translate to having lots of money to spend. But I don't mind, because it's the thought that counts. I smile, and begin ripping open my gift.

More to come...