Two Friends, One Camping Trip

Clark/Chloe futurefic
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to the CW and DC Comics, not to me.
Based on a prompt by Black_Panda_Ops.
Screencap from Dynamic Duo.

Two Friends 3, Part 3

"I don't see a place to plug in my hair dryer."

"Please. Why would you need a hair dryer when you've got me? A little heat vision, a little superbreath, and your hair is dry in a flash."

"Either dry, or on fire."

"Hey, I almost never set things on fire by accident any more."

"How incredibly reassuring. Okay, fine, so I don't actually need my hair dryer. But CNN! How can I live without CNN?"

"That's exactly why I brought you out here to the middle of nowhere, Chlo. It's our fifth wedding anniversary, and I'll be damned if I'm going to make love to you while you try to watch CNN over my shoulder."

"I would never do that."

"Oh, you totally would. In fact, you have more than once lately. Recently you've gotten completely obsessed with the news."

"Gee, fancy that. A reporter, obsessed with the news."

"The problem, Miss Pulitzer, is that you don't have an off switch. I keep up with current events, too. But I don't mumble about presidential elections in my sleep."

"I do not--"

"Yes. You do. It's getting a little on the scary side, Chlo. I figured we needed to come out to the woods for a few days so we could wean you off your TV and internet dependency."

"Okay. Fine. I can live with that."

"Suuuuure you can. When is the withdrawal going to start?"

"I'm not nearly as obsessed as you think I am, Clark Kent. I can live without news just fine."

"Uh-huh. By the way, I stole your Blackberry out of your pocket when you weren't looking."

"What??! Are you some kind of evil sadist??!"

"Chlo, it isn't living without the news if you're sneaking a peek at your Blackberry every ten seconds."

"But-- but--"

"When you're finished sputtering, you could come check out the tent I just set up. It's nice inside."

"Forget it, bub. I know what you want, and I'm not having sex with the man who stole my Blackberry."

"Hey, I tried to steal your cherry, too, but someone got there first."

"Stop with the fruit jokes."

"What, is my sense of humor rotten?"

"Stop it already. I don't care how many dumb jokes you make. I'm not coming into that tent until I get my Blackberry back."

"Forget it, sweetheart. I'm doing this for your own good. You need a break from the world. Besides, it's our anniversary, and you're supposed to be focusing on me."

"Hmmmphh."

"Fine. Stay out there and sulk with the mosquitoes."

"There aren't any... ouch. Oh, all right. Move over, you big overgrown alien."

"I'm not overgrown. I'm really just an average guy."

"Ha. You're ridiculously huge, and you should have gotten a bigger tent. There's no room in here for me."

"Sure there is. We'll just have to snuggle up."

"Ah, I see. Unveiling your evil plan, are you?"

"Yep. That was my evil plan, all right. Snuggling with my wife."

"I'm shocked by the levels of depravity you can sink to, Mr. Kent."

"And I'm shocked by the levels of sneakiness you can sink to, Mrs. Kent. Or did you really think that I'd believe you were feeling me up, instead of rooting around in my pocket for your Blackberry?"

"Oh, damn you, Clark, just give it to me. Where is it?"

"Miles from here."

"I hate you."

"You do not. You know I'm right, Chlo. You need a break from everything. You work too hard."

"I like to work hard."

"So do I. But sometimes I think we both need to work harder at relaxing."

"I think that's an oxymoron. But wow... you're right. This is kind of relaxing."

"See, I told you you'd like turning off the news."

"Mmmmm. That feels good, Clark. But I still hate you."

"Yeah, yeah. I can tell. Roll over here and show me how much you hate me."

"Well, okay. But don't think I've forgiven you, you big jerk."

"Oh, God, Chlo..."

"I'm not doing anything. Just checking for my Blackberry."

"Ha. Of course you are. Believe me, it's not there."

"Well, there's something there. What is this, if it's not my Blackberry? Is it for me?"

"Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, Chlo. It's all yours. I'm all yours."

"Cool. This camping trip might wind up being kind of fun, after all."

-The End-

Read Two Friends, One Sundae.