Thursday, May 04, 2006

After the Rush

Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Clark/Chloe, Pete
Season 2, after "Rush"
Rating: PG
2200 words
Disclaimer: These characters belong to the CW and DC Comics, not to me.

To: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
From: csullivan@thetorch
What the hell is wrong with you, anyway???!

To:csullivan@thetorch
From: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
Hi, Chloe. I’m writing two papers, because Mr. Jenkins assigned this stupid paper on the American Revolution last week, and Mrs. Smythe assigned a stupid paper on *Tale of Two Cities* a couple of days ago, and I kind of forgot about them till tonight. And they're due tomorrow. So I’m typing my fingers to the bone here. Your concern for my wellbeing is appreciated, but I'm fine.

To: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
From: csullivan@thetorch
I’m not talking about your fingers, moron.

To: csullivan@thetorch
From: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
Okay. Want to give me the Cliffs Notes version, then? Because I don't have time to guess what you're talking about. I really am trying to get some work done here.

To: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
From: csullivan@thetorch
What the *hell* did you do to my roommate? She says you were macking on another girl in the Talon. Seriously. With tongue. Have you totally lost your mind?

To: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
From: csullivan@thetorch
With tongue? She said that?

To: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
From: csullivan@thetorch
Okay, not exactly. I kind of figured that out on my own. But she's cried herself to sleep two nights running. You moron, you’ve been lusting after Lana for ages, and she finally agreed to go out with you. Why on earth would you take a girl to the Talon and start giving her a tonsillectomy in front of Lana?

To: csullivan@thetorch
From: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
Could you please quit calling me a moron?

To: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
From: csullivan@thetorch
No.

To: peteross@usaol
From: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
I am in serious trouble, Pete. Chloe found out I was kissing “some girl.” Lana went and told her, and now Chloe's p*ssed at me. Help.

To: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
From: peteross@usaol
Hell. I’m sorry, man. I’ve totally screwed up your life. This whole thing is my fault.

To: peteross@usaol
From: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
Don’t be stupid, Pete. It’s not your fault any more than it was my fault when I put on that red K ring and started throwing people around. It's the parasite's fault, not yours. But I’m already in enough trouble with Lana. The last thing I want is for Chloe to figure out that I was kissing *her*. Help me out here. Please.

To: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
From: peteross@usaol
For a guy with no love life, you have a seriously complicated love life. I’ll see what I can do.

To: csullivan@thetorch
From: peteross@usaol
Hey, Chlo. Clark says you’re bugging him. Leave him alone, will you? The man's trying to get some work done.

To: peteross@usaol
From: csullivan@thetorch
How typical. Clark can’t deal with women himself, so he gets you to run interference for him. Fine, I’ll just pump you for information instead. Who the hell was Clark making out with at the Talon? And why?

To: csullivan@thetorch
From: peteross@usaol
Let it go, Chloe.

To: peteross@usaol
From: csullivan@thetorch
I can’t just let it go, Pete. It doesn’t make any sense. Clark has worshipped the ground Lana walks on forever. For him to just suddenly take a girl over to the Talon and start sucking face with her is just plain weird. I’d almost think maybe he had a parasite too, but he swears he didn’t, and he’s acting perfectly normal now.

To: csullivan@thetorch
From: peteross@usaol
Chloe, just forget about it. Okay?

To: peteross@usaol
Cc: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
From: csullivan@thetorch
Why are you two stonewalling me here? Tell me the name of the girl, damn it. Lana won’t tell me a thing. She just says she didn’t recognize her, but I don’t believe her. I've known her long enough to know when she's lying.

To: csullivan@thetorch
From: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
I’m trying to get two papers written here, Chloe. Go away.

To: csullivan@thetorch
From: peteross@usaol
Trust me, Chloe. You really don’t want to know the answer to that question.

To: peteross@usaol
From: csullivan@thetorch
OMG. It was *me,* wasn’t it???

To: csullivan@thetorch
From: peteross@usaol
I did not say that. I so totally did not say that.

To: peteross@usaol
From: csullivan@thetorch
OMG. I should have realized it. I was macking on Clark in public when I had the parasite, wasn’t I? He TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME. I can’t believe it. I can't believe *him.*

To: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
From: peteross@usaol
Subject: FW: OMG
Read this. You’re in big trouble, man.

To: peteross@usaol
From: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
Not as big trouble as you, dude. Cause I’m going to kill you.

To: clarkkent@kentfarmproduce
From: csullivan@thetorch
I know I already asked you this once before. But WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, ANYWAY???!

Read Chapter 2 here.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL so funny!

blackheart_me said...

HAHAHAHAHA! i gotta say I love the format you chose to this. ur totally making my night Elly. Love this!

DeeDee said...

Oh Pete, you idiot! :-P Clark's in serious trouble.

This is really funny. I love it!

These were the days when Chloe's journalistic curiosity knew no bounds. Darn, I miss that Chloe.

Well done, Elly!