Friday, September 07, 2007

Two Friends, Two Pink Slips

Season 7 (some SPOILERS, don't read if you want to remain totally unspoiled)
Rating: PG-13.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to the CW and DC Comics, not to me.
Sequel to Two Friends, Two Pizzas.

"I have bad news, Chlo. I'm not going to be getting any more free pizzas."

"Considering the gagging sounds you make every time we eat one, that's probably just as well. Not to mention the bad effect all the cheese is having on my thighs."

"Your thighs are gorgeous."

"Uh-huh. Just three times bigger than they were before you started delivering pizza."

"That just means there's more of them to love."

"Hmmm, let me see. Where did I put that kryptonite?"

"Quit trying to hurt me, you sadist. I'm just kidding."

"Yeah, I know. So tell me, what happened to the endless flow of free pizzas?"

"Well. Um. I kind of got fired."

"Fired? Really? How come?"

"You'll laugh."

"Of course I won't."

"Yeah, you will."

"No, I won't. Tell me what happened."

"Well... okay. I got fired for being too slow."


"You're laughing."

"Only... a little..."

"Yeah, that's why you're doubled over like that. I knew you were going to laugh."

"I'm sorry. Really."

"If you could stop giggling, I might actually believe you."

"Okay. I'm good now. How on earth did you get fired for being too slow, Mr. Lightspeed?"

"I can't run at the speed of light. I don't think I get too far past the speed of sound."

"You're so literal. I just don't understand how you could fail to get the pizzas delivered on time. I know you were using your truck to deliver the pizzas, but you said you were falling back on superspeed if you got tied up in traffic or whatever."

"Well, yeah. But you know, there are a lot of people in Metropolis, and sometimes I hear someone calling for help..."

"I see. So you got canned for being a hero. I'm sorry, Clark. I guess that's always going to be a problem for you."

"Yeah, I guess maybe. I'm not really a hero, but I can't ignore someone who's trapped in a house fire just to deliver a pizza, you know?"

"I understand. And you are a hero. Trust me. I guess this happened more than once?"

"Sort of like every day this week. Like I said, there are a lot of people in Metropolis. And I think maybe my superhearing is getting better."

"Or you're just more tuned into other people's problems now."

"Yeah, maybe. Anyway, the good news is we can have something for dinner besides pizza. Thank Rao."


"It's a Kryptonian deity I've been learning about from Kara."

"Ah. Okay. Let me slip my sandals on, and we'll go get some spaghetti. But let's find cheap spaghetti, okay?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm not that broke yet."

"Yeah, but I am."


"Look, I didn't want to tell you this over the phone this afternoon, but... I got fired today, too."

"Oh, my God. Chlo."

"No, no, it's all right. Really."

"You are full of crap. Of course it's not all right. You've wanted to write for the Daily Planet since you were eight. What the hell happened?"

"Grant happened."

"Shit. This is my fault, isn't it? I'm the one who said you needed to have it out with him."

"It's not your fault, honest. It was good advice. He was out of town all last week, but when he got back in the office I went to talk to him about why he kept rejecting my stories. He said basically that my writing sucks, and that I was a waste of space. And... he fired me."

"Kahn didn't think you were a waste of space. You're the youngest reporter to ever get a front-page byline in the Planet, for God's sake."

"I guess Grant has different standards."

"Fuck Grant."

"Thanks, but I'll pass."

"Yeah, I guess you'd have to stand in line behind Lois."

"Are you on about that again? Look, I've been watching them. Yeah, Lois is flirting with him, but I don't believe she's really, well... you know."

"Flirting with him is almost as bad. She's getting ahead by flirting with the boss, while you're getting treated like garbage for acting like a professional. It sucks."

"Well, on the up side, I don't have to worry about Grant tossing all my stories in the circular file. And that's good, because the whole thing was starting to give me an ulcer."

"Chloe. You are not going to just give up and walk away from the Planet, damn it."

"You're the one who pointed out that Grant wasn't publishing any of my stories anyway. You asked why I was so determined to hang onto my job, remember?"

"Yeah, and it was a stupid thing to say. You're too good to just give up. And you've always wanted to work there. You're meant to work there. It's not like it's some crap job delivering pizzas-- it's the Planet."

"What am I supposed to do, Clark? Tell Grant he can't fire me? Because he can, you know. He's the floor editor. He has the authority."

"Well, it's not like he's not the editor in chief or anything. Go complain to the boss."

"Are you kidding? Go whine because I got fired? You didn't whine when you got fired from Pizza Planet, did you?"

"That's Pizza Palace. You've been watching too much Toy Story again. And no, I didn't whine, because I deserved to get fired. You don't. You haven't done anything wrong, damn it."

"The thing is, the editor in chief is the one who hired Grant."

"Yeah. It sucks. Kahn would never have let Grant turn 'Metropolis' Greatest Newspaper' into a tabloid."

"Yeah. Kahn would have kicked his ass right out the door. But the new guy wants to increase the circulation numbers. That's all he cares about, and he doesn't care what happens to the paper in the meantime. Some of the old guard are pretty damn upset about it."

"Talk to one of them, then."

"They can't get me rehired, Clark. They're just reporters."

"Maybe not. But they might at least be able to put in a good word for you."

"Maybe. Uh, there is this one guy who likes my writing. He's been encouraging me. He says I have a lot of potential."

"No kidding. Part of the old guard?"

"Totally. He hates Grant with the white-hot fury of a thousand suns. He's not really fond of the tabloidy articles Lois turns out, either. I think I'll stop by the Planet and talk to him tomorrow."

"Sounds like a plan. What's his name, anyway? Have I met him?"

"Yeah, you've met him, all right. His name... is Perry White."

-The End-

Read the sequel, Two Friends, One Happy Ending.


Anonymous said...

That was awesome! I loved the way you ended it!

Great story!

Anonymous said...

Good ending!

Anonymous said...

I just love the banter between the to of them. You've absolutely nailed their characters!

sanaazzy said...

Lovely ending!
Grrants an ass

blackheart_me said...

As soon as I started I was already laughing man Elly I love how u write. ""Uh-huh. Just three times bigger than they were before you started delivering pizza."
"That just means there's more of them to love."
I also laughed at how Clark got fired but then again I also think he's so cute for being a hero before anything else. I also think he's incredible for supporting Chloe and pushing her to go get her job back. It's true Lois is flirting and on the top floor and he shuts her down? pfft. I like how he pushes her! Ahh ur ending is wonderful =] Especially ending with Perry White and the light of the future where Chloe still works at the planet. Work of beauty Elly, Loved it :)