Monday, November 19, 2007

Two Friends, One Happy Ending

Season 7 (after "Blue." Spoilers and spec for upcoming episodes, don't read if you don't want to be spoiled)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to the CW and DC Comics, not to me.
Sequel to
Two Friends, Two Pink Slips

Two Friends 2, Part 4

"Check it out, Chloe. I cooked you a gourmet meal."

"Whoa. Give the man a little spare time and he turns into the Iron Chef."

"I'm totally sick of pizza, and since I don't have a job any more... well. Look at this. Salmon. Wild rice. Broccoli. And... tulips."

"Are the tulips fried or broiled?"

"I mean, I put tulips on the table, smartass. In my mom's best vase. And check it out... I used a tablecloth, too."

"Hmmm. I bet that tablecloth hasn't been used since your mom went to Washington."

"You'd win that bet. I hate tablecloths. They have to be laundered all the time. Anyway, Shelby likes to grab them and pull them off the table. It's not so good for the china. Come on, sit down."

"Wow. You're even holding a chair for me? Sexist, yet strangely gallant."

"A guy likes to be sexist every once in a while. Shut up and eat, Chlo."

"So much for being gallant."

"My daily gallantry quota just got used up. Hey... tell me what happened with Perry White today."

"Oh, my God. You are not going to believe it."

"I always believe you, Chlo. Unless you tell me Lois isn't sleeping with Grant. That, I can't believe."

"Yeah, well, okay. As it turns out, you're right. Perry and I caught them at it. Believe it or not, they've been doing it right on his desk."

"Ewwww. There went my appetite."

"Okay, so Lois was sleeping with Grant..."

"Which explains why he's been printing her chupacabra articles."

"Yeah. But don't let that get around, okay? I'm trying to save her career."

"What career? She writes articles about Bigfoot, Chloe."

"Yeah, well, she's not exactly up to Planet standards, I'll grant you. Anyway, Perry was pissed. He pretty much wanted to have her fired and blacklisted, but I managed to talk him out of it."

"I don't blame him. You should have let him."

"Hello, the girl is my cousin."

"Hello, your cousin is a slut."

"Watch it, buddy."

"Truth hurts."

"Yeah, okay, so it was wrong, in a big way. Lois knows it was wrong. She did the right thing. She quit and went back to writing for the Inquisitor."

"That's the best news I've heard in a while. Okay. So what happened to Grant? Did he get fired, too?"

"Better than that. You won't believe who Grant actually is."

"Surprise me."

"Ugh. Don't chew with your mouth open."

"Yes, mother. So who's Grant?"

"Lex's brother."

"Huh? You mean Lucas? But..."

"No, no, not Lucas. His supposedly dead little brother Julian."

"That's crazy, Chlo. Julian would be like fifteen now."

"Actually, he's more like three."

"Excuse me?"

"He's a clone, Clark. Remember the clones Lex was working on last year? Remember how LuthorCorp was working on clones, even earlier than that? Apparently Julian was one of Lex's first efforts. He used a lock of Julian's baby hair to clone him, because he wanted his baby brother back. But the process causes the clone to age rapidly, so Julian looks like he's in his twenties now."

"Oh, come on. You're pulling my leg. You're just making this up to see how gullible I am."

"No, I'm serious. I swear."

"I'd find it a lot easier to swallow Lois' chupacabra story, Chloe. Honestly."

"Believe what you want. It's true. Anyway, Lex put Grant a.k.a. Julian-- who has absolutely no genuine credentials as an editor, by the way-- at the Planet to try to discredit it and wreck its reputation, mostly because of yours truly. He was afraid I was getting too close to the truth about his little experiments. He was afraid I was going to get an article printed about the way he's been holding the meteor infected against their will and torturing them."

"Shit, Chlo. He could have had you killed."

"Believe it or not, that was apparently next. They found bomb components in Grant's-- I mean, Julian's-- desk. He was apparently plotting to blow up the elevator, with me inside."

"Shit. I'll kill Lex. And then I'll kill Grant. I mean Julian. I mean-- oh, hell, whoever he is, I'm going to kill him."

"Put the alpha wolf back in its cage, Clark. He's in custody now, and so is Lex. And... drum roll... Perry and I will be sharing a byline on the front page of the Planet tomorrow, on an article that exposes everything that Lex and Grant did."

"Are you telling me you've been rehired?"

"Even better than that. I've been promoted. There was a vacancy upstairs, you know. And the old editor in chief has been let go, due to the fact that he let Lex blackmail him into hiring Grant. And... drum roll again... Perry White is our new editor in chief."

"Wow. Chlo. That's awesome. You're amazing."

"Yeah, but you're still out of work..."

"That's okay, Chlo. Pizza delivery jobs are a dime a dozen. But there's only one Daily Planet."

"True. Hey. Stop squeezing me. I'm trying to eat my salmon here."

"Forget the salmon. Let's celebrate."

"Um... I'm getting the impression that by celebrate you mean have sex on top of the dinner dishes?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Well, okay. But be careful not to knock the food onto the floor."

"I'll do my best... oh, hell. I spent two hours cooking that."

"Don't worry about it, farmboy. After all.. there's always pizza."

-The End-


Robyn said...

Love the total dialogue thing. "Hey, stop squeezing me!" Teehee. Also love Clark putting down Hois. LOVE it.

monicaop said...

I soooo enjoyed them talking and the way you put all our fears to rest :), hugs!!! Be well and take care

Anonymous said...

HeHe!!!! That was awesome! Love the dialogue!

blackheart_me said...

ewww. Grois on the desk? uggh. imagine i totally did not wanna have. *rotfl* AHA. So here Chloe found out the clone-ploy and Lois went back to tne inquisitor? and i ask thee, why are you not writing for smallville? really. U'd do them all a favor! :D oOH i love how protective he got when they found out Grant was about to try to kill Chloe ^_^. AWW! that ending was VERY amusing Elly XD