Friday, May 09, 2008
Two Friends, One Honeymoon
Manip by AndrewVDk. Used with permission of the artist.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to DC Comics and the CW, not to me.
Inspired by the above manip.
Sequel to Two Friends, One Wedding.
"Thank you for flying Clark Kent Airlines. Please watch your step as you exit the alien's arms."
"Not a bad way to travel, farmboy. I can tell you're going to save us a fortune in air fare."
"Plus, I'm faster than a jet."
"Yeah, but you're not as well padded, and you don't serve pretzels. I really wanted some pretzels."
"Complaints, complaints. So what do you think?"
"Hmmm. Palm trees, a turquoise ocean lapping at white sand, a bare-chested demigod... what's not to love?"
"Glad you're happy. Come on, check out the little house I rented. You'll love it."
"As long as it's got a bed, Clark, I'll love it."
"You and your one-track mind."
"Me??! Who insisted we have sex ten minutes before the wedding?"
"Hey, that wasn't me. I tried to fend you off, but you were relentless."
"Yeah, right. Hey... this is a pretty little house. Good job, Kent."
"I figured I could afford to get us something nice, since I saved all that money in air fare."
"This is definitely nice. The bed is huge."
"Want to give it a closeup inspection?"
"Clark. We just arrived in a tropical paradise. Shouldn't we go stroll on the beach or take a swim or something first?"
"Do I really need to explain the concept of a honeymoon to you, Chlo?"
"Well... no. I just... well, it's beautiful outside, and..."
"We could go have sex on the beach, I guess. But I figured the sand might not be all that comfortable for you. I guess there's always the ocean..."
"I was just talking about swimming, Clark. Not sex."
"I know, and I don't quite get why. It's our honeymoon. We're supposed to have sex. What's bugging you, Chlo?"
"Nothing. Nothing is wrong."
"Something is wrong. Come on, Chlo, spill it."
"It's just... we're married."
"Um... yes. That's why we stood up together in front of the guy with the funny collar with our friends and family watching, right?"
"Well, yeah. But see, the thing is... this is our first time."
"No, our first time was three years ago."
"True, sort of. But it's our first time as a married couple."
"Yes, and I've been waiting for this moment for a long, long time. What's the problem?"
"I just... I just..."
"Spit it out, Chlo. What's wrong?"
"Well... what if you get bored with me?"
"Bored. Disinterested. What if I can't hold your interest?"
"No offense, sweetheart, but that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Believe me, I'm totally interested."
"Well, sure you are, now. But what about ten years from now? Or twenty? Or even forty?"
"I know. I know it sounds stupid. But this is forever, Clark. And forever is a hell of a long time."
"Yeah, it is. And I want to spend it with you, Chlo. That's why I married you."
"Awww. That's so sweet."
"Are you crying?"
"Maybe a little."
"Stop it, right now. We're on our honeymoon. You are not supposed to cry."
"What am I supposed to be doing?"
"Well, to begin with, this bed still needs you to inspect it. Come over here next to me, and tell me if the mattress is soft enough."
"Hmmm. That's not very soft. In fact, it's pretty hard."
"Hey. That's not the mattress."
"Really? Are you sure?"
"Totally. Oh, God, Chlo..."
"So you don't think you're going to get bored with this, huh?"
"Never. Oh. My. God."
"What about this?"
"Cool. That makes me feel a little better. But I guess we'll have to see if you still like it this much in twenty years."
"Believe me. I'm always going to like this. I'm always going to like you."
"Yeah, farmboy. I'm pretty sure I'm always going to like you, too."
"Maybe we should have done that at our wedding. Declared our undying like for one another, I mean."
"I think that's implied in the whole till death do us part thing."
"I don't know, Chlo. I've seen an awful lot of married couples who don't seem to like each other much."
"True. Well, at least we don't have that problem. We like each other so much we wind up talking instead of having sex half the time."
"Yeah. Which seems to be a problem right now, in fact. How about we quit talking for a while?"
"Okay. After all, we have the rest of our lives to talk. Unless we get bored with each other."
"Chlo, I've known you for almost ten years, and I've never gotten bored with you yet. And we've never run out of things to say to each other. I like you an awful lot, Mrs. Kent."
"Oh my God. I am Mrs. Kent, aren't I?"
"Yes, you definitely are. And... we're talking again."
"Well, that's okay. We have the rest of our lives to make love, too."
"True. Even so, I think I'd like to get started on it."
"Well, all right. If that's really what you want to do."
"Believe me. It's really what I want to do. I can't imagine ever getting bored with you."
"Are you sure? What if we make love five times a day for the rest of our lives?"
"Hmmm. I don't know. I guess it's barely possible we might get bored, eventually. But it seems to me that the only way to find out is to try it."
"Okay. Let's do it this way. We'll have sex five times a day for the rest of our lives, and if you ever get bored you can let me know. And if I ever get bored, I'll tell you."
"Sounds like a plan, Chlo."
"Great. Then let's get started. How do you want to do it? This is our very first time as a married couple, so I want you to remember it. You can have whatever you want."
"All I want is you."
"Oddly enough, farmboy, I feel the exact same way. Good thing we're married, huh?"
"Yeah. That's definitely a good thing, Mrs. Kent."
Read Two Friends, One Camping Trip
Posted by Meg at 7:22 AM